lake superior

life is hard to predict. sometimes it is the beauty that catches you off guard. as i clutched r's fingers, walking down the trail to the waterfall yesterday, through a tunnel of gold, it was perfect. his skin is so soft, and his bones were so small and fragile in my hand. and yet his body and energy leapt and bounced from rock to rock cavorting through the forest to his own story. in each direction on the trail, his imagination made grand narratives out of our adventure (on the way back, dad was a walking and talking plant and he and i were stalking botanists, studying a rare specimen. soon after, every person crossing our path was another plant.)

my daughter's soft eyes and gentle laugh can easily balloon into a full throttle resistance and yell. she oscillates between testing her will and desires against her need to soothe and participate. she is learning that a gentle pat is more welcome. but she knows that a slap is an expression of her frustration and inability to achieve her desire. she loves to be part of the team and eagerly wants to try and anticipate. i see them both as unique and yet can also see both ruskin and i in the mix as well.

both are eager and unjaded. strong, in different ways. the secret to parenting them will be to recognize their differences and individualities and nurture them to grow. to teach k to be strong but not violent. to temper disappointment, be patient, and persevere (at least at 2). to teach r to not internalize and wilt, to dream and imagine, to hold his own without loss of self. i have learned much from parenting them -- how to be patient, to laugh, and to see beauty in so many ways. to find perfection in a moment that i did not expect. we stood on a path and gazed at a cow. the trees blazed around us; the road curved up. we waited for uncle tom, knowing he was just around the corner. the air was cool and fresh. they remind me that i have now. sometimes only now.

nurturing my children's experiences is not always easy. my parents were voracious summer travelers when i was little. as fresh immigrants, we roamed everywhere we could. at least in my memory, there are trips to caves, parks, and other cities. we were not able to do as much after we moved to GA. but that sense of wanting to see and experience has never left me. i try to pass on that excitement about exploration to my children, trying to stack their memories full of these family adventures. i also do it for ruskin. somehow his tendency to retreat into himself or go fix things needs to be countered with a camera handed to him and a forest trail. a spark comes back and you can see him relax. we need more lake superior, more leaves and trails, more trips to the farm, more sailing in our lives.

after only a year in las vegas, rocky mama has been offered an opportunity that seems straight out of his hopes and dreams. he is going on tour as a master electrician. how wonderful. he has worked long and hard for this moment. and in a time of economic downturns and hopelessness comes a small and bright possibility. congratulations and best wishes. may you find it a step in the journey you seek.

congratulations also to masee who worked incredibly hard and submitted an essay to a journal. she is an amazing student and incredibly smart. regardless of whether or not it gets published, her hard work and dedication are ample evidence of her astute intellectual abilities. kudos to you masee for making sacrifices and doing something not easy. i am proud of you.