it is odd to wander the streets of a place that you lived 20 years ago. well technically i did not live in the part of cambridge where harvard is, but i did wander the streets as a cambridge-an. last night i flew into boston to begin my semester as a visiting prof at harvard. so far it is an interesting experience. the WGS department is warm and friendly. i am mostly prepared for my classes. and getting into the system has been smooth and easy. so i am hoping that this bodes well for the semester.
being away from dad and the kids is difficult. i am staying with my friend nathan (and his terrific partner dave) whom i have know for over twenty years. and this a wonderful feeling. however, it is odd to be separated from my children. we had a skype conversation (a video phone conversation) yesterday. and the kids were fun and i felt as if i was not missing the details of their days as much. there are days when i just want time alone and of course then i can't wait to see them again. it is an odd balance.
i know that they are in the excellent hands of grandma sue and dad. so i am not worried that it will be too rough on them. (well roughest on dad). this is the longest i will be gone (mon-thurs) until i have to go to hawaii for a conference. (Any volunteers to come and help then?)
i met someone today whose dad was white and her mom bengali. she had hazel eyes. she asked to see pictures of the kids. she smiled and said, i looked like that when i was little. she pointed the their hair and said that it will darken just like mine. she is quite beautiful. i asked her to write about her life as a biracial south asian woman so that my kids would have a thoughtful person talk about her experiences in their world.
i miss and love my children and their dad.
hugs to all
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
copiers are fun
well the highlight of the weekend was making the chia pet that we got as part of the yankee swap during the holidays. the kids have been loving their squeaky stuffed animal-toys from nani and nana. thanks nani and nana! but they were also excited to work together COOPERATIVELY with guidance on the chia project. actually there were a few moments when the kids played together. it was nice to see a little of that coming soon.
otherwise, it was not a pleasant weekend. r seemed very sensitive and unable to recover from disappointment. i am not sure if he was exhausted, hungry, or something else. it felt like something else. it was rough.
k was ok. she liked her daddy's split pea soup. i finished my syllabi. tomorrow i leave for harvard. i am excited and concerned. it is hard to leave when things feel not so great. grandma sue is coming to lend a hand. it is funny, if r is on, a few days with one parent is not a problem. but if r is off and can't collect himself, then even two caregivers doesn't seem like enough. i hope we can come up with some patience and, more importantly, some resources to figure this out for him. he has to learn to deal with disappointment. but it feels like he has no buffer to recover. well i guess i feel like that to right now.
on a positive note. k is doing great. she is talkative and independent.
r's fine motor is improving. we are excited that he is getting into representational drawing that includes figures that are recognizable. he drew a picture of a robot and a spaceship. r came with me to work today and he loves the copier. so he was willing to draw and then make copies for presents for everyone. he colored them in by himself as well. this is pretty much the first colored in picture he has drawn...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
president obama. president dh?
r had a rough night again. r has a molar coming in or he has a sinus infection. either way he had an ache that was difficult for him to handle. he has a low sensitivity to pain and not a terrific ability to soothe himself. dad and i forget that we need to help him learn how to soothe himself. we tell him to, but we have to remember to show him how.
anyway, dad and the kids made banana bread and we had our first family meeting to discuss "family rules." r was a riot. he has a lot of rules. he loves policies and consequences in theory. his rules are pretty helpful
1) no throwing your toys
2) no breaking the furniture
3) no yelling
4) no using mean words
5) no kicking and screaming
6) listen to each other
7) don't waste
he talked a lot about which actions led to time-outs. it was rather amusing. monday night was also difficult.
on tuesday, he woke up fairly fine. there was an incredible amount of excitement about obama and the inauguration. we have been talking to r about MLK and civil rights. we have discussed slavery and discrimination based on color/race, gender, etc. previously. monday on MPR there was a discussion of a gay bishop who had given a prayer at an event for obama. he was talking about same sex marriage and r asked what they were talking about. we had a lengthy discussion about marriage, interracial, same-sex marriage, and choosing not to marry. he was quite interested and incensed by the idea of people not being able to do something they wanted to do and people feeling like they have to do something when they do not want to do it. so on tuesday as we talked about the inauguration. he said that he wanted to go. i tried to explain that the inauguration was far away in DC and that we could not go. he said that he was sad that the capital was not in minnesota so that we could go. he said that he wanted to president like obama so that he could change the "rules." i told him that this was an important inauguration as obama is our first multiracial/african american president. he said that i am asian american. and i added that he was multiracial like obama whose parents were also white and a person of color. we talked some more about the bans against interracial marriage. he reiterated that he wanted to change the rules. he then asked me if more people think the "old" way or think like him. i told him that i hope that he, his friends, and other kids his age think differently now. he replied good, that means that they will vote for me and i will win and then i can change the rules.
i hope so. i hope so. i never dreamed that a child of mine could, if he wanted to, run for president and think about winning.
anyway, dad and the kids made banana bread and we had our first family meeting to discuss "family rules." r was a riot. he has a lot of rules. he loves policies and consequences in theory. his rules are pretty helpful
1) no throwing your toys
2) no breaking the furniture
3) no yelling
4) no using mean words
5) no kicking and screaming
6) listen to each other
7) don't waste
he talked a lot about which actions led to time-outs. it was rather amusing. monday night was also difficult.
on tuesday, he woke up fairly fine. there was an incredible amount of excitement about obama and the inauguration. we have been talking to r about MLK and civil rights. we have discussed slavery and discrimination based on color/race, gender, etc. previously. monday on MPR there was a discussion of a gay bishop who had given a prayer at an event for obama. he was talking about same sex marriage and r asked what they were talking about. we had a lengthy discussion about marriage, interracial, same-sex marriage, and choosing not to marry. he was quite interested and incensed by the idea of people not being able to do something they wanted to do and people feeling like they have to do something when they do not want to do it. so on tuesday as we talked about the inauguration. he said that he wanted to go. i tried to explain that the inauguration was far away in DC and that we could not go. he said that he was sad that the capital was not in minnesota so that we could go. he said that he wanted to president like obama so that he could change the "rules." i told him that this was an important inauguration as obama is our first multiracial/african american president. he said that i am asian american. and i added that he was multiracial like obama whose parents were also white and a person of color. we talked some more about the bans against interracial marriage. he reiterated that he wanted to change the rules. he then asked me if more people think the "old" way or think like him. i told him that i hope that he, his friends, and other kids his age think differently now. he replied good, that means that they will vote for me and i will win and then i can change the rules.
i hope so. i hope so. i never dreamed that a child of mine could, if he wanted to, run for president and think about winning.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
everyone feels better with obama(bot)
yes the kiddo had another rough night. he has been unable to settle into a deep sleep and cries frequently at night. dad said that r was up every hour last night. he woke up unhappy and took a little while to comfort. k was cheery this morning and content with helping her brother until she got caught nipping at his water cup and had it taken away. this led her to be banished downstairs with dad in near hysteria. when there are consequences or decisions she does not, she has a full out toddler tantrum. she is very two. she can dress herself nearly as well as her brother. she picks out her own clothes and takes off the old ones. she then can more or less put on the new ones by herself. she is quite independent and determined. (you all will have to count to see how many times i say that in the blog in the coming years).
k was quite attached to dad this morning. they read "if you give a mouse a cookie" several times. she knows it pretty much by heart. she sang to him --- both baa baa black sheep and abc. in our version of baa baa, the people receiving wool are usually family members. today nani and nana, rocky mama, and masee-tom received wool. dad also received lots of hugs and kisses from his daughter. dad was definitely well liked today.
r cheered up as he watched little einstein this morning and once the ibuprofen kicked in. he got over his insistence that he was going to vomit and his fever. he ate some pastry and sausage. k ate 3 sausages, daddy eggs, and drank her smoothie. i think her appetite is back. he was quite chipper after his slow brunch. we all read books and changed into new clothes. i did about 8 loads of laundry last night and this morning. that is on top of the 2-4 dad did the other night.
both kids took naps luckily. r was quite energetic right before nap. both they were tired. he had to miss his friend's bday party at the science museum unfortunately. after nap, r was sensitive and k was quite cuddly. eventually a little pbskids.org on the computer cheered them both up.
in lieu of the science museum, i told r that we could build the robot made of recycling that he has been talking about since myrtle beach this summer. so i brought out all the odds and ends i have been saving for the project (lots of boxes and random parts). k did not seem interested in the project and was getting hungry i think. but everyone contributed to the project. we decided once we found some obama stickers that this was an homage to our president elect. since we cannot be in DC, we are bringing a little obama to our neck of the woods.
after dinner, there were books and teeth brushing and more books. k fell asleep quickly. and r was tired but took a long time. wish us luck and hope that he stays asleep through the night. we moved obamabot upstairs into his room to keep him company.
k was quite attached to dad this morning. they read "if you give a mouse a cookie" several times. she knows it pretty much by heart. she sang to him --- both baa baa black sheep and abc. in our version of baa baa, the people receiving wool are usually family members. today nani and nana, rocky mama, and masee-tom received wool. dad also received lots of hugs and kisses from his daughter. dad was definitely well liked today.
r cheered up as he watched little einstein this morning and once the ibuprofen kicked in. he got over his insistence that he was going to vomit and his fever. he ate some pastry and sausage. k ate 3 sausages, daddy eggs, and drank her smoothie. i think her appetite is back. he was quite chipper after his slow brunch. we all read books and changed into new clothes. i did about 8 loads of laundry last night and this morning. that is on top of the 2-4 dad did the other night.
both kids took naps luckily. r was quite energetic right before nap. both they were tired. he had to miss his friend's bday party at the science museum unfortunately. after nap, r was sensitive and k was quite cuddly. eventually a little pbskids.org on the computer cheered them both up.
in lieu of the science museum, i told r that we could build the robot made of recycling that he has been talking about since myrtle beach this summer. so i brought out all the odds and ends i have been saving for the project (lots of boxes and random parts). k did not seem interested in the project and was getting hungry i think. but everyone contributed to the project. we decided once we found some obama stickers that this was an homage to our president elect. since we cannot be in DC, we are bringing a little obama to our neck of the woods.
after dinner, there were books and teeth brushing and more books. k fell asleep quickly. and r was tired but took a long time. wish us luck and hope that he stays asleep through the night. we moved obamabot upstairs into his room to keep him company.
Friday, January 16, 2009
when it vomits, it pours
well there is something to the fact that what one sibling does, the other wants to do also. tonight r started vomiting. i could see it coming since this morning. he had his signature runny nose and hacking cough. as soon as those kick in, i know there is going to be vomiting. i almost said to dad before they got ready for bed that it was going to be a rough night. r has also been have some regressive urinating in his pants. 4 times in 2 days. oddly, i remember that the same thing happened last year right after we had people visiting. i was thinking that perhaps the transition back to school and the stress of that kind of change plays out somehow in his inability to respond to sensations. whatever it is, kiddo is stressed and we have to help him figure things out,
k seems to be getting better. she is fiercely a toddler. NO I DO IT BY MYSELF. today she got dressed pretty much by herself. some assistance from her brother who generously laid out clothes for her. he said he was having his best morning and it showed. he helped her with all kinds of tasks voluntarily. and she responded. she was practically glowing from his attention and from her ability to be independent of the parents.
i can see the future in other ways too. today he was supposed to eat some of his lasagna before he could have a tortilla chip. ms k went to the bag got one out and gave it to her brother. he gladly accepted. i guess if i ask for teamwork, i am going to get teamwork.
they had ok days. both are tired. i am hoping for a restful morning. we start music class tomorrow. have a birthday party on sunday. the stress here is pervasive.
k seems to be getting better. she is fiercely a toddler. NO I DO IT BY MYSELF. today she got dressed pretty much by herself. some assistance from her brother who generously laid out clothes for her. he said he was having his best morning and it showed. he helped her with all kinds of tasks voluntarily. and she responded. she was practically glowing from his attention and from her ability to be independent of the parents.
i can see the future in other ways too. today he was supposed to eat some of his lasagna before he could have a tortilla chip. ms k went to the bag got one out and gave it to her brother. he gladly accepted. i guess if i ask for teamwork, i am going to get teamwork.
they had ok days. both are tired. i am hoping for a restful morning. we start music class tomorrow. have a birthday party on sunday. the stress here is pervasive.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
some laws of nature should be illegal
all right. we are approaching absolute zero here in minnesota. well maybe not exactly. but I was reminded of a film (SUNSHINE directed by Danny Boyle of Slumdog Millionaire, 28 Days Later, and Trainspotting fame) that dad and i watched recently. in it, there is a scene in which one of the astronauts floats into space without a space suit. he freezes and shatters as space is almost absolute zero (-273 degrees celsius or -460 fahrenheit). well it felt about that cold today here in minneapolis and tomorrow is supposed to be colder. my only consolation is that we do not live in embarrass, mn or in saskatoon, canada. but if we lived in canada then gay marriage would be legal! anyway, the wind chill was in the negative twenties. it hurt to be outside.
of course, this weather did not deter the toddler from refusing mittens or the preschooler from standing in the cold and putting on his mittens in the slowest manner possible while insisting that he has to put them on rather than hurry inside without mittens. go figure. it is all about control.
both kids were stinkers today at pick-up. r had a roll on the bathroom floor in the bungalow kind of tantrum. must be tired. and tired of being cooped up. k continues to object to everything. breakfast would have been amusing if i could get a healthy distance from it.
r: it is sunny
k: no sunny
r: it is sunny (gets up from the chair and starts running around in distress)
k: no sunny
to be fair it was partly cloudy.
just an example of the fun we are having.
after his tantrum at school, i explained to r that he still has to listen to parents when we tell him to do something, but that as kids get older they get more choices. i said a 4 year old has more choices than a 2 year old. but a 4 year old also has more rules. he says that he wants to be a fifth grader so he can make more choices but that babies have it easy as they have no rules since they cannot do anything.
in r's bungalow, they have written down their resolutions. apparently, r is inspired by his uncle tom as his resolution is to run in olympics. there is some confusion as his reported version of the resolution is that he wants to run a marathon like uncle tom, but a kid marathon until he is a grown up. either way, he better start training with uncle tom. you hear that uncle tom?
i went to look at another school today and liked it. of course it is in st paul which adds to our driving time. why is it that the minneapolis schools we like start too early for r? we are going to have to use the neighboring school system which is a little odd. r is going to have to commute to elementary school! bizarre.
dad and i are having conversations about our futures and careers. it is a weighty subject that occupies us greatly. of course, more gravity for him than for me. still i see lots of hope and potential as i tend to be an optimistic person. we shall see. i hope we can both remember what it feels like to dream about what you want and to remember to cast our nets wide.
of course, this weather did not deter the toddler from refusing mittens or the preschooler from standing in the cold and putting on his mittens in the slowest manner possible while insisting that he has to put them on rather than hurry inside without mittens. go figure. it is all about control.
both kids were stinkers today at pick-up. r had a roll on the bathroom floor in the bungalow kind of tantrum. must be tired. and tired of being cooped up. k continues to object to everything. breakfast would have been amusing if i could get a healthy distance from it.
r: it is sunny
k: no sunny
r: it is sunny (gets up from the chair and starts running around in distress)
k: no sunny
to be fair it was partly cloudy.
just an example of the fun we are having.
after his tantrum at school, i explained to r that he still has to listen to parents when we tell him to do something, but that as kids get older they get more choices. i said a 4 year old has more choices than a 2 year old. but a 4 year old also has more rules. he says that he wants to be a fifth grader so he can make more choices but that babies have it easy as they have no rules since they cannot do anything.
in r's bungalow, they have written down their resolutions. apparently, r is inspired by his uncle tom as his resolution is to run in olympics. there is some confusion as his reported version of the resolution is that he wants to run a marathon like uncle tom, but a kid marathon until he is a grown up. either way, he better start training with uncle tom. you hear that uncle tom?
i went to look at another school today and liked it. of course it is in st paul which adds to our driving time. why is it that the minneapolis schools we like start too early for r? we are going to have to use the neighboring school system which is a little odd. r is going to have to commute to elementary school! bizarre.
dad and i are having conversations about our futures and careers. it is a weighty subject that occupies us greatly. of course, more gravity for him than for me. still i see lots of hope and potential as i tend to be an optimistic person. we shall see. i hope we can both remember what it feels like to dream about what you want and to remember to cast our nets wide.
Monday, January 12, 2009
blizzards and blankets
as frequent blog-readers probably surmised, a gap in coverage usually indicates 1 of 4 things: vacations, guests, end of the semester grading, or illness. as the guests are gone and it is mid january, you may have guessed that it is illness that has hit our house. while dad has been suffering through the annual loss of voice and chest cold that are his signature illness, it is ms. k who has been hit by the virus this time. usually she succumbs only after her brother, but this time, it is only our littlest who is suffering.
we had gotten a message that she had been coughing at daycare during nap and had had to have her cot elevated last week. i hoped that it was passing. i was wrong. as is the way of toddlers and preschoolers who do not know how to rid their bodies of mucous, it eventually collects in their stomachs and makes itself a new way out. k was not happy when the contents of her stomach emptied saturday night. "i no like yuckies" she protested. the rest of the night involved some coughing and fever. but we were able to give her some tylenol so she could sleep peacefully through the night. sunday morning the fever was more or less gone, but the coughing was worse. she was quite clingy all day. but she was happy and asked for daddy soup at dinner though she barely touched it. we spent most of today under blankets while it snowed several inches outside.
r was a boisterous fellow this weekend. he assisted his father with grocery shopping on sunday. he has also been practicing his rudeness on us. i have started to refuse to talk to him when he is so mean, bossy, and yelling. it certainly mellowed by sunday. i hope it is a phase. we keep reminding him that it is a house rule not to yell at each other and be mean. i had a long talk with him about whether or not he liked it if i yelled at him.
last week, we watched finding nemo with the kids. r is usually too frightened to watch films. i have been trying to talk him through it or forward through sections to assure him that there are points that he will enjoy. the first night we put the dvd in, he was terrified and wanted to stop almost immediately. dad and i watched it that night. the next night we tried again. i know it sounds odd but watching and responding to films or theater is not natural in any way. it is learned. and for r, the whole experience is too intense and frightening. we think part of it is that he is sensitive to the emotions and fears in the film. very understandable. why aren't other kids terrified by sharks or barracudas? on the other hand, we want him to feel safe in the world and know that one can confront frightening experiences and overcome them rather than cower. we want him to not crumple when overwhelmed, to name his fears, and try to find a way through them if possible. i do not want to toughen him up. i am proud of his sensitivity. but i don't want him to be fearful. dad and i have talked about this and think that introducing him to film slowly is a good way to do this. so we watched nemo together and helped him through the hard parts. we think both kids enjoyed it. k spend much of the time cuddling as she was not feeling well.
let's see. last week, the kids and i went to noodle and company while dad worked late. the kids spent a terrific morning with masee and tom. k talked about the sleeping meows. r did experiments in their brand new beautiful bowl sink. he mixed a variety of household products -- soda, baking soda, vinegar, cinnamon, etc. together. i ran around to the minneapolis school fair and the st paul school fair. more on this later. by the way, r was quite excited about eating his dinner (black bean burger and spanokopita/spotted feta) the other night. he remarked, "my mouth will burst with happiness [when you give me my food]." i figure that is quite high praise. furthermore, it is not an inconsequential statement for my texture adverse son to say. i am pretty damn proud of all of our hard work in that regard.
unfortunately, the kids watched a bit of television this last week. it has been cold and with k sick, it has difficult to do much out of the house. r always wants magic school bus and k wants elmo so our choices are not so bad. when k was watching a particular skit on sesame street, she inexplicably turned to us and said while pointing to the screen "that is nani and nana." what made this quite humorous, besides her imagination, is that the skit was between grover (in his role as the waiter/flight attendant who never gets anything right) and the always disgruntled customer whose order is never properly served. dad commented that he did not want to know which one was nani and which one was nana.
ms. k stayed home today as she had a rough night. she kept coughing herself (and me) awake. so i ended up holding her most of this morning while she slept. she has not eaten much in several days but is hydrating fairly well. she looks and seems really tired. she is chipper and ate some of dad's noodles and tofu at lunch.
r had OT today and he seems to be left-handed (something i was pretty sure of) and he seems to be getting stronger. i guess we are doing something right. dad and i were joking that even if goes to ice skating and just stands there, he still gets a core body workout as it requires stamina and strength to stand on skates. the ice skating, yoga, OT, etc all seem to be having their impact. i have not had a chance to work on his fine motor writing since last week. when someone gets ill all good plans go out the window.
r came home all excited about his microscope. so we looked at different things magnified. he also was quite chipper but not hungry. he was boisterous but fairly well behaved and cooperative. he at one point yelled for his dad. and dad replied something to the effect of it was not necessary to yell. to which r responded, "but dad i am echolocating." well there you have it. he is our son... not to mention a bat.
we had gotten a message that she had been coughing at daycare during nap and had had to have her cot elevated last week. i hoped that it was passing. i was wrong. as is the way of toddlers and preschoolers who do not know how to rid their bodies of mucous, it eventually collects in their stomachs and makes itself a new way out. k was not happy when the contents of her stomach emptied saturday night. "i no like yuckies" she protested. the rest of the night involved some coughing and fever. but we were able to give her some tylenol so she could sleep peacefully through the night. sunday morning the fever was more or less gone, but the coughing was worse. she was quite clingy all day. but she was happy and asked for daddy soup at dinner though she barely touched it. we spent most of today under blankets while it snowed several inches outside.
r was a boisterous fellow this weekend. he assisted his father with grocery shopping on sunday. he has also been practicing his rudeness on us. i have started to refuse to talk to him when he is so mean, bossy, and yelling. it certainly mellowed by sunday. i hope it is a phase. we keep reminding him that it is a house rule not to yell at each other and be mean. i had a long talk with him about whether or not he liked it if i yelled at him.
last week, we watched finding nemo with the kids. r is usually too frightened to watch films. i have been trying to talk him through it or forward through sections to assure him that there are points that he will enjoy. the first night we put the dvd in, he was terrified and wanted to stop almost immediately. dad and i watched it that night. the next night we tried again. i know it sounds odd but watching and responding to films or theater is not natural in any way. it is learned. and for r, the whole experience is too intense and frightening. we think part of it is that he is sensitive to the emotions and fears in the film. very understandable. why aren't other kids terrified by sharks or barracudas? on the other hand, we want him to feel safe in the world and know that one can confront frightening experiences and overcome them rather than cower. we want him to not crumple when overwhelmed, to name his fears, and try to find a way through them if possible. i do not want to toughen him up. i am proud of his sensitivity. but i don't want him to be fearful. dad and i have talked about this and think that introducing him to film slowly is a good way to do this. so we watched nemo together and helped him through the hard parts. we think both kids enjoyed it. k spend much of the time cuddling as she was not feeling well.
let's see. last week, the kids and i went to noodle and company while dad worked late. the kids spent a terrific morning with masee and tom. k talked about the sleeping meows. r did experiments in their brand new beautiful bowl sink. he mixed a variety of household products -- soda, baking soda, vinegar, cinnamon, etc. together. i ran around to the minneapolis school fair and the st paul school fair. more on this later. by the way, r was quite excited about eating his dinner (black bean burger and spanokopita/spotted feta) the other night. he remarked, "my mouth will burst with happiness [when you give me my food]." i figure that is quite high praise. furthermore, it is not an inconsequential statement for my texture adverse son to say. i am pretty damn proud of all of our hard work in that regard.
unfortunately, the kids watched a bit of television this last week. it has been cold and with k sick, it has difficult to do much out of the house. r always wants magic school bus and k wants elmo so our choices are not so bad. when k was watching a particular skit on sesame street, she inexplicably turned to us and said while pointing to the screen "that is nani and nana." what made this quite humorous, besides her imagination, is that the skit was between grover (in his role as the waiter/flight attendant who never gets anything right) and the always disgruntled customer whose order is never properly served. dad commented that he did not want to know which one was nani and which one was nana.
ms. k stayed home today as she had a rough night. she kept coughing herself (and me) awake. so i ended up holding her most of this morning while she slept. she has not eaten much in several days but is hydrating fairly well. she looks and seems really tired. she is chipper and ate some of dad's noodles and tofu at lunch.
r had OT today and he seems to be left-handed (something i was pretty sure of) and he seems to be getting stronger. i guess we are doing something right. dad and i were joking that even if goes to ice skating and just stands there, he still gets a core body workout as it requires stamina and strength to stand on skates. the ice skating, yoga, OT, etc all seem to be having their impact. i have not had a chance to work on his fine motor writing since last week. when someone gets ill all good plans go out the window.
r came home all excited about his microscope. so we looked at different things magnified. he also was quite chipper but not hungry. he was boisterous but fairly well behaved and cooperative. he at one point yelled for his dad. and dad replied something to the effect of it was not necessary to yell. to which r responded, "but dad i am echolocating." well there you have it. he is our son... not to mention a bat.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
no napland
no napland is just north of cranky kid country. this morning was rough on the kiddos who see no reason to wake up in the dark in the morning. i believe my son's logic is no sun=no son. k wakes up with a little snuggle and a ready start go. both were whiny this morning. we are working on making fewer those moments of crying and whining when they do not get what they want. not always pleasant for us.
school seemed to go ok. k had a nice drop-off and seemed ready for her window wave good-bye almost immediately. r was a little touchy still but managed to settle down towards the reading section with a few hugs. k told her teachers about her manatee and said she slept with a manatee. i don't know if they believed her as i was asked to confirm the information; i said yes that k's masee and uncle tom had brought her a manatee from florida. during pick-up, i found r at the lego station with a bunch of boys making a vehicle. he seemed eager to stay and build. we worked on it for a bit and then moved to bungalow c for ms k who was having a cracker snack. this caused another 10 minute delay.
when we finally got tired and cranky children home, it was about 15-20 minutes earlier than usual so that was a good start to getting dinner in them faster and getting them to bed earlier. r has moved into no napland since the holidays and continued to live there. so he is tired when he comes home. i am hoping if i can get him home earlier and upstairs earlier... we shall see.
today she was asleep by 8:30 and he by 8:45.
school seemed to go ok. k had a nice drop-off and seemed ready for her window wave good-bye almost immediately. r was a little touchy still but managed to settle down towards the reading section with a few hugs. k told her teachers about her manatee and said she slept with a manatee. i don't know if they believed her as i was asked to confirm the information; i said yes that k's masee and uncle tom had brought her a manatee from florida. during pick-up, i found r at the lego station with a bunch of boys making a vehicle. he seemed eager to stay and build. we worked on it for a bit and then moved to bungalow c for ms k who was having a cracker snack. this caused another 10 minute delay.
when we finally got tired and cranky children home, it was about 15-20 minutes earlier than usual so that was a good start to getting dinner in them faster and getting them to bed earlier. r has moved into no napland since the holidays and continued to live there. so he is tired when he comes home. i am hoping if i can get him home earlier and upstairs earlier... we shall see.
today she was asleep by 8:30 and he by 8:45.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I panda, I pepper
R had a good OT today. they played a new game called traffic jam. i know nothing about it. but apparently r said it was great fun. he had a rough wake-up as we are back to the grind of going to school. it was freezing this morning -4 when we woke up; but it did warm up to 20 which felt nice.
k seemed quite happy to get back to her friends and teachers. she played with her friends and talked about her time at home with her visiting family. she talked about all of the presents she received and told everyone that rocky mama gave her her elmo. she showed her elmo to everybody and then told her friends that rocky mama did not get any presents.
r was playing on the computer when we got to daycare. it was a science program that had him classifying animals and plants into different kinds (with tails, without tails, etc). both kids had not napped and were tired and hungry. nevertheless things were not as bad as they could have been tonight. he was asleep by 9 and she by at 8:30. we need to be a little earlier in getting upstairs but we did do some fine motor and tactile work before dinner. at dinner, we did 10 questions. r was kind of too tired for it, but k was right on top. the second question was "what animal would you be?" k immediately replied, "i panda, rohan, you hathi." when r said no. when he said "poisonous frog," she then replied "i panda, daddy meow, mommy hathi, and you poison frog." our next question was "what spice would you be." she answered, "i no spice, i panda." r of course replied cinnamon. i said k was cayenne and she replied no. i said she was pepper. she agreed, "i pepper." dad decided he was cayenne and i decided to be cardamom...
tomorrow there are no appointments!
k seemed quite happy to get back to her friends and teachers. she played with her friends and talked about her time at home with her visiting family. she talked about all of the presents she received and told everyone that rocky mama gave her her elmo. she showed her elmo to everybody and then told her friends that rocky mama did not get any presents.
r was playing on the computer when we got to daycare. it was a science program that had him classifying animals and plants into different kinds (with tails, without tails, etc). both kids had not napped and were tired and hungry. nevertheless things were not as bad as they could have been tonight. he was asleep by 9 and she by at 8:30. we need to be a little earlier in getting upstairs but we did do some fine motor and tactile work before dinner. at dinner, we did 10 questions. r was kind of too tired for it, but k was right on top. the second question was "what animal would you be?" k immediately replied, "i panda, rohan, you hathi." when r said no. when he said "poisonous frog," she then replied "i panda, daddy meow, mommy hathi, and you poison frog." our next question was "what spice would you be." she answered, "i no spice, i panda." r of course replied cinnamon. i said k was cayenne and she replied no. i said she was pepper. she agreed, "i pepper." dad decided he was cayenne and i decided to be cardamom...
tomorrow there are no appointments!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
practice makes capitals
there are many moments when i learn from my children. today i learned two lessons. the first one is to be a better listener. the second one, a more specific manifestation of the first, is to respect and remember that in some ways kids have self knowledge.
today i decided that we would try to work on r's handwriting. since fine motor control is difficult for him, we have been doing a variety of gross and fine motor tasks outside of OT to help develop those skills (such as skating, swimming, painting, play-doh. beads, legos, yoga, trampoline, etc.). his handwriting and drawing capabilities, like his gross motor skills, lag his peers. but what i love about r is that he does not give up. this evening, we sat down to work on our letters. we practiced his A's and B's. despite his having difficulty with knowing where to start, where to connect parts, etc., he was upbeat and talked positively about how when you don't know how to do something, it is good to practice. despite a bit of frustration on dad's part and my part, he held on to his own perspective. he seemed to understand his own difficulty and see the need to repeat the task with patience. he was also very proud of himself when he was able to sound words and read words like "ANT" and "BAT." the experience reminded me that he is not necessarily frustrated with his experiences but does try them with encouragement and guidance. it may take a while but he is definitely interested and willing. we have to take our cue from him and remember to be patient. we also need to follow him in knowing how to break things down so that they are in small accessible increments. what i realized is that learning to write the alphabet in alphabetical order makes no sense. A is much harder than F. so i need to sit down and figure out a more logical order to learn these things.
k and i had fun today. she took a nap but we played and read books and did some art earlier. she was not hungry today. but did manage to eat some cracker jacks before dinner when she asked for and ate 3 soy sausages! she is a solid older toddler. one of my favorite times with her is when she is lying in bed and i am in the rocking chair in her room. she likes to fall asleep by looking around and once in awhile i will catch her eye. when that happens, we both smile and she frequently says "i love you." to have a toddler initiate an "i love you." is pretty much one of the warmest feelings possible.
today i decided that we would try to work on r's handwriting. since fine motor control is difficult for him, we have been doing a variety of gross and fine motor tasks outside of OT to help develop those skills (such as skating, swimming, painting, play-doh. beads, legos, yoga, trampoline, etc.). his handwriting and drawing capabilities, like his gross motor skills, lag his peers. but what i love about r is that he does not give up. this evening, we sat down to work on our letters. we practiced his A's and B's. despite his having difficulty with knowing where to start, where to connect parts, etc., he was upbeat and talked positively about how when you don't know how to do something, it is good to practice. despite a bit of frustration on dad's part and my part, he held on to his own perspective. he seemed to understand his own difficulty and see the need to repeat the task with patience. he was also very proud of himself when he was able to sound words and read words like "ANT" and "BAT." the experience reminded me that he is not necessarily frustrated with his experiences but does try them with encouragement and guidance. it may take a while but he is definitely interested and willing. we have to take our cue from him and remember to be patient. we also need to follow him in knowing how to break things down so that they are in small accessible increments. what i realized is that learning to write the alphabet in alphabetical order makes no sense. A is much harder than F. so i need to sit down and figure out a more logical order to learn these things.
k and i had fun today. she took a nap but we played and read books and did some art earlier. she was not hungry today. but did manage to eat some cracker jacks before dinner when she asked for and ate 3 soy sausages! she is a solid older toddler. one of my favorite times with her is when she is lying in bed and i am in the rocking chair in her room. she likes to fall asleep by looking around and once in awhile i will catch her eye. when that happens, we both smile and she frequently says "i love you." to have a toddler initiate an "i love you." is pretty much one of the warmest feelings possible.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
new year, new nose
friday morning k and i woke up and were hanging out in bed. "snuggling" as she calls it. dad and r were in the space station hanging out as well. we read a book and talked. at some point, ms k sat up and then decided to lie down without looking back. she came full slam with her head down on my nose. i did not scream but let out an indecipherable set of vowel sounds. i could feel the spurt instantly and reached up to catch the warm gush as i called for dad. i was spurting blood from both sides of my nose. as i tried direct pressure, i started gagging on the blood and mucous going down my throat and so had to try and spit them out. dad got the kids downstairs. k was rather upset by what had happened. r was concerned that i not get blood on him and make him bleed. dad soothed them while i tried to stop the flow. i finally had to blow my nose and then continue the pressure. it eventually stopped and i iced it for a short period. i now sport a new bump on my nose that is quite tender. nothing like a little excitement to get you going in the morning. k managed to give me lots of kisses and also tell me that she hurt her head on my nose. r just told me to keep the blood out of his food so his nose would not start bleeding. i tried to explain that while there were germs in my blood, they would not make him bleed. nothing like breaking your nose at the start of a day.
the rest of the day was relatively quiet. we recovered. r had OT. k and i took a nap. we watched some magic school bus and played phonics games on the computer. after dinner and puzzle time, the kids had a bath. dad and i got to watch the end of the batman movie (the dark knight) and the beginning of sunshine (a fun space sci fi) while we worked and played catch up.
saturday morning meant dad had to work and r had ice skating. r seems a little stronger and more adapted to balancing on skates now. he falls less but is not very motivated to move. mostly he stands around on the ice chewing his mittens. afterwards, i told the kids i had surprise for them and took them to see elmo at a local store. they were thrilled. k would not hug elmo but spent much time waving to him. one item off the clearance table was selected and purchased for the kids. for k it was an art set and for r a model helicopter kit. they were really good about not asking or whining to take other preferred items home with them once i explained the rules. i have never taken them alone to a toy store. i was happy and proud of their self-control.
there was much enthusiastic telling of our adventures when dad came home during lunch time. as k had fallen asleep in the car, we did not attempt another nap. (though i did close my eyes on the sofa for about 10 minutes while the kids watched dad assemble the trampoline.) there was painting of models, jumping, yoga, and reading during the rest of the day as the freezing rains and snow storms began. k called her nani and nana. the kids ate dinner while mom read silly poems out loud. all kids were asleep by 8:30.
by the way, we have invented a new dinner practice. i have been brainstorming of ways to get r to eat at the dinner table that do not involve playing toys or being read to. i thought of a question game. r devises 10 questions (with the assistance of a grown up) before dinner. during dinner, each person answers each question. we go through one by one and r knows that people will only talk if he is eating. it is closer to dinner conversation and he is quite interested in polling as well as follow-up. his questions are quite funny and the big dinners with everyone have been quite memorable. it certainly has made dinner time more pleasant the last week.
the rest of the day was relatively quiet. we recovered. r had OT. k and i took a nap. we watched some magic school bus and played phonics games on the computer. after dinner and puzzle time, the kids had a bath. dad and i got to watch the end of the batman movie (the dark knight) and the beginning of sunshine (a fun space sci fi) while we worked and played catch up.
saturday morning meant dad had to work and r had ice skating. r seems a little stronger and more adapted to balancing on skates now. he falls less but is not very motivated to move. mostly he stands around on the ice chewing his mittens. afterwards, i told the kids i had surprise for them and took them to see elmo at a local store. they were thrilled. k would not hug elmo but spent much time waving to him. one item off the clearance table was selected and purchased for the kids. for k it was an art set and for r a model helicopter kit. they were really good about not asking or whining to take other preferred items home with them once i explained the rules. i have never taken them alone to a toy store. i was happy and proud of their self-control.
there was much enthusiastic telling of our adventures when dad came home during lunch time. as k had fallen asleep in the car, we did not attempt another nap. (though i did close my eyes on the sofa for about 10 minutes while the kids watched dad assemble the trampoline.) there was painting of models, jumping, yoga, and reading during the rest of the day as the freezing rains and snow storms began. k called her nani and nana. the kids ate dinner while mom read silly poems out loud. all kids were asleep by 8:30.
by the way, we have invented a new dinner practice. i have been brainstorming of ways to get r to eat at the dinner table that do not involve playing toys or being read to. i thought of a question game. r devises 10 questions (with the assistance of a grown up) before dinner. during dinner, each person answers each question. we go through one by one and r knows that people will only talk if he is eating. it is closer to dinner conversation and he is quite interested in polling as well as follow-up. his questions are quite funny and the big dinners with everyone have been quite memorable. it certainly has made dinner time more pleasant the last week.
family, holidays, and a new year
sorry for the long silence. holidays with family visiting have kept us a little busy. contrary to logic, having company does not lead to more time for blogging. instead, in my own scheming way, i devise lists of things for us to do once the families arrive. not that we deprive the children of experiences during the school year, but it is harder to do any thing for ourselves or the house once the semester begins. this end of the semester was no exception. there were several weeks of late nights and i did not get my grades in until dec. 23, the latest ever.
this year i had quite a list of things i wanted the children to experience -- the holidazzle parade (luckily we did that one during thanksgiving before frigid december arrived), macy's holiday display, the holiday lights in phalen park, the bakken museum, the bell museum, riding the polar express-zephyr in stillwater, baking cookies, and making presents for family members. we were able to accomplish quite a few of these when family arrived.
the week prior to christmas, sue and james arrived. we kept them fairly busy throughout their visit. saturday the 20th was one of our busiest days. i had not had a chance to shop at all for presents, plus dad was working and k had a rough night. so we kept grandma sue at home with ms. k, and james came along to ice skating. mira and r had a fun time. it is clear that r does not have the strength or motivation of the other children when out on the ice; hopefully this will steadily improve. he still seems to see the experience positively and enjoys his time. his playing with mira did not end after the lesson. after a quick warm up and snack at home, he headed out with his dad to go sledding. i believe he and mira had a terrific afternoon and dad came home sore. after another snack, we headed out in a blizzard to see auntie hot hot who insisted that we come over and make cookies despite the weather and the fact that she was leaving the next day for paris. apparently, i am pretty gullible as i did not think a thing about it. i ran around and purchased presents while everyone else visited auntie. when we got home, i was quite shocked as dad and seema threw me a surprise birthday party. it was a wonderful present and probably one of the best ways to help celebrate turning 40. seema was especially a terrific sport as she was still finishing her finals for the semester! and i do not know how dad planned it at the end of the semester with all the regular craziness, illness, and holidays. i was quite astounded and overwhelmed by both of their generosity. and apparently, i finally know what sue and james were up to as well! let's hope that 40 brings more time with family and friends.
the rest of the week was a blur. we managed to do everything on the list, host families, cook and bake, shop and wrap, and get ready for a family gathering. (with much assistance from seema, tom, sue, and james.) on christmas day, the kids unwrapped all the goodies from santa and grandma. they spend the day playing with new toys as new guests trickled in. the rest of my family arrived from atlanta and las vegas that day as well. we (all 11 of us) sat down to dinner for a huge meal. it was actually lovely. tom made another turkey and seema some delicious stuffing and gravy. dad finds peace in the kitchen and spent two days making sides -- mashed potatoes, squash soup, green bean casserole, and cornbread. there was a little more present opening in the form of a yankee swap. and then everyone fell asleep in a stupor of fatigue.
somehow the time never seems long enough. it felt like the kids hardly had time with sue and james or that we hardly had a minute to talk. it is hard to believe how busy the kids and holidays keep us. it would be lovely to have more time to talk and connect. we see each other so infrequently and it is hard to have meaningful and important conversations that are constantly interrupted by the children or needing to cook, clean, etc. it is wonderful to have everyone there, i just wish we could spend more time connecting.
sue and james left the next day and made it home safely. as usual, they caught something from the kids and were sick with colds. sue also had complications with her furnace and has ill family members. the stress of juggling so much is taxing. sometimes i wonder how we all deal with so much stress! members of my family are also stressed this year. due to the economy and health. i can feel myself getting less healthy (more stagnant) these days and see others aging as well. rakesh is clearly hurt most by the economy as his work is free-lance. his left eye has complications that make it hard for him to see out of it. we are all concerned.
the visit with my family was quite busy as well. the kids have been spoiled having so many people to play with. r chose his nana to read with for several nights. and rocky mama was critical to several toy adventures. k made friends with her nani right away and wanted a lot of contact with rocky mama as well. since he recently visited, he is able to play with them both simultaneously and single handed.
we celebrated diwali with the desais and the kids were spoiled even more if possible. we went to several museums that were small and manageable. they were great fun. one involved hands on electricity exhibits that were fun for ages 2-66. and then we went to the bell museum which is right on campus and have not made it inside for some reason. it has a terrific touch room for kids with live and dead animals and knowledgeable staff. one night the family watched the kids and dad and i were able to sneak out. it was quite luxurious and we used it to recover and check in with each other. my sister and parents also took me shopping for my semester at harvard. since i have few clothes that have been purchased since R's birth, a couple of items were in order. everyone was amazing and supportive. the stamina required to shop is not something i have anymore. it was painful. but so many helping hands (including ms. k) were very helpful.
new year's eve was a pleasant and celebratory. seema and tom took nana, nani, and rakesh to a live comedy show. dad, the kids and i went to a friend's house so that the kids could hang out. it was a very fun evening. we had good luck food from various traditions (black eye peas, 8 treasures, and tamales), great conversation, hyper children, and a viewing of mary poppins. what more can we ask for? we finally got to play games when we got home. it was finally a chance for everyone to relax and play together. we stayed up quite late and got up tired, but had no regrets whatsoever.
the kids enjoyed their time with family immensely. k cried when we dropped nana, nani, and rocky mama at the airport. she wanted to go with them. she also told grandma sue to come back tomorrow. that would be wonderful. so far it feels very quiet. we spent the first day recovering and missing everyone. happy 2009 everyone. may we find strength in ourselves and each other, joy in small moments and satisfaction in our achievements. may good health and spirits be with you all.
this year i had quite a list of things i wanted the children to experience -- the holidazzle parade (luckily we did that one during thanksgiving before frigid december arrived), macy's holiday display, the holiday lights in phalen park, the bakken museum, the bell museum, riding the polar express-zephyr in stillwater, baking cookies, and making presents for family members. we were able to accomplish quite a few of these when family arrived.
the week prior to christmas, sue and james arrived. we kept them fairly busy throughout their visit. saturday the 20th was one of our busiest days. i had not had a chance to shop at all for presents, plus dad was working and k had a rough night. so we kept grandma sue at home with ms. k, and james came along to ice skating. mira and r had a fun time. it is clear that r does not have the strength or motivation of the other children when out on the ice; hopefully this will steadily improve. he still seems to see the experience positively and enjoys his time. his playing with mira did not end after the lesson. after a quick warm up and snack at home, he headed out with his dad to go sledding. i believe he and mira had a terrific afternoon and dad came home sore. after another snack, we headed out in a blizzard to see auntie hot hot who insisted that we come over and make cookies despite the weather and the fact that she was leaving the next day for paris. apparently, i am pretty gullible as i did not think a thing about it. i ran around and purchased presents while everyone else visited auntie. when we got home, i was quite shocked as dad and seema threw me a surprise birthday party. it was a wonderful present and probably one of the best ways to help celebrate turning 40. seema was especially a terrific sport as she was still finishing her finals for the semester! and i do not know how dad planned it at the end of the semester with all the regular craziness, illness, and holidays. i was quite astounded and overwhelmed by both of their generosity. and apparently, i finally know what sue and james were up to as well! let's hope that 40 brings more time with family and friends.
the rest of the week was a blur. we managed to do everything on the list, host families, cook and bake, shop and wrap, and get ready for a family gathering. (with much assistance from seema, tom, sue, and james.) on christmas day, the kids unwrapped all the goodies from santa and grandma. they spend the day playing with new toys as new guests trickled in. the rest of my family arrived from atlanta and las vegas that day as well. we (all 11 of us) sat down to dinner for a huge meal. it was actually lovely. tom made another turkey and seema some delicious stuffing and gravy. dad finds peace in the kitchen and spent two days making sides -- mashed potatoes, squash soup, green bean casserole, and cornbread. there was a little more present opening in the form of a yankee swap. and then everyone fell asleep in a stupor of fatigue.
somehow the time never seems long enough. it felt like the kids hardly had time with sue and james or that we hardly had a minute to talk. it is hard to believe how busy the kids and holidays keep us. it would be lovely to have more time to talk and connect. we see each other so infrequently and it is hard to have meaningful and important conversations that are constantly interrupted by the children or needing to cook, clean, etc. it is wonderful to have everyone there, i just wish we could spend more time connecting.
sue and james left the next day and made it home safely. as usual, they caught something from the kids and were sick with colds. sue also had complications with her furnace and has ill family members. the stress of juggling so much is taxing. sometimes i wonder how we all deal with so much stress! members of my family are also stressed this year. due to the economy and health. i can feel myself getting less healthy (more stagnant) these days and see others aging as well. rakesh is clearly hurt most by the economy as his work is free-lance. his left eye has complications that make it hard for him to see out of it. we are all concerned.
the visit with my family was quite busy as well. the kids have been spoiled having so many people to play with. r chose his nana to read with for several nights. and rocky mama was critical to several toy adventures. k made friends with her nani right away and wanted a lot of contact with rocky mama as well. since he recently visited, he is able to play with them both simultaneously and single handed.
we celebrated diwali with the desais and the kids were spoiled even more if possible. we went to several museums that were small and manageable. they were great fun. one involved hands on electricity exhibits that were fun for ages 2-66. and then we went to the bell museum which is right on campus and have not made it inside for some reason. it has a terrific touch room for kids with live and dead animals and knowledgeable staff. one night the family watched the kids and dad and i were able to sneak out. it was quite luxurious and we used it to recover and check in with each other. my sister and parents also took me shopping for my semester at harvard. since i have few clothes that have been purchased since R's birth, a couple of items were in order. everyone was amazing and supportive. the stamina required to shop is not something i have anymore. it was painful. but so many helping hands (including ms. k) were very helpful.
new year's eve was a pleasant and celebratory. seema and tom took nana, nani, and rakesh to a live comedy show. dad, the kids and i went to a friend's house so that the kids could hang out. it was a very fun evening. we had good luck food from various traditions (black eye peas, 8 treasures, and tamales), great conversation, hyper children, and a viewing of mary poppins. what more can we ask for? we finally got to play games when we got home. it was finally a chance for everyone to relax and play together. we stayed up quite late and got up tired, but had no regrets whatsoever.
the kids enjoyed their time with family immensely. k cried when we dropped nana, nani, and rocky mama at the airport. she wanted to go with them. she also told grandma sue to come back tomorrow. that would be wonderful. so far it feels very quiet. we spent the first day recovering and missing everyone. happy 2009 everyone. may we find strength in ourselves and each other, joy in small moments and satisfaction in our achievements. may good health and spirits be with you all.
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