and CLICK HERE FOR Part 2 -- (this is a private youtube link)
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
their lists
k's list to santa includes magic potions and a flying dragon.
r's list to mom includes a DS, super mario brothers galaxy for the wii, and DS games.
hmmm.
mom vetoed the DS3 (in 3D), not good for growing eyes and development.
mom is not so thrilled about the DS in general. i like wii, it is social.
i did not mind the leapster. it was primarily educational. but the DS? seems like gaming.
not so happy.
i am going to give him the microscope i have been saving. he was asking today about the size of atoms and cells....
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
tentative start on gifts
By the way, because the links are to amazon does not mean i would suggest buying from them.
in fact, i recommend fatbrain.com for some of them as they are not so evil and out to destroy local businesses.
pilot costume -- PURCHASED
flying dragon? does it exist? floating clown fish
geomag (i am not sure how many pieces) -- TO BE PURCHASED
playmobil plane -- PURCHASED
loom --- PURCHASED
spirograph -- TO BE PURCHASED
lab mice puzzles -- TO BE PURCHASED
beach towel for swimming class (nice and thick) - TO BE PURCHASED
water bottle
r:
mittens -- PURCHASED
perplux -- TO BE PURCHASED
ninjago? MAYBE NOT
labyrinth -- TO BE PURCHASED
knex bridges -- PURCHASED
lego mindstorms nxt -- PURCHASED
kickball or playground ball
newton's cradle
the elements book by gray -- TO BE PURCHASED
angry bird knock game -- TO BE PURCHASED
thames and kosmos global water quality kit -- PURCHASED
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
calculating differently
one day when i came home, r was doing his homework with his afterschool provider. she was trying to get him to make an equation and therefore show his work. my son was calculating the answer to the problem in his own head, in how own funny way. he started yelling at her when she did not understand his way of explaining it. from what i could hear, it was not clear.
this led to him throwing himself on the sofa and yelling "no one understands what i am saying!" when i got to him, i was able to joke my way into his acceptance as long as i was silly. and when i finally got him to talk to me instead of yell at me. all he could repeat was that no one understood. i had the wherewithall not to force him to do it a certain way. but i did say i would like to know how he did it even if he did in his head.
he explained some odd way that was not clear. it was clearly a "yellow light" moment. i do not know if he could control what he was doing but he was like a careening pinball emotionally. it was hard to soothe him.
today the kids were wound up when we got home. especially r who had not eaten much of his food. it took quite a bit of patience to figure out how to get them to eat and get enough food into us too. we read a little at the end of dinner and then transitioned to upstairs where there was more reading and then bedtime. holidays make everyone is exhausted.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Conversations
i love the insight and wisdom of my children.
the other night k was having a rough time. daylight savings time makes her even more tired and less able to manage the lack of attention she gets in our household. we try to provide her some equity, but it is hard with r's needs. somedays, she is just exhausted. on thursday, she was having a particularly hard time getting it together and had to be reprimanded a few times. i got her into the shower and she sang "Follow the Drinking Gourd" to herself many times. she sounded happy and peaceful. i am not sure if she has been taught that it is a song sung by folks using the underground railroad, or that it is a spiritual, or that it is a protest song. in any case, it provides her a way to enjoy singing and music. she got out of the shower and said "mom, i want to tell you something you won't like." and i told her it was ok to do that. this is the conversation that followed. a conversation that i had had that day with our family physician over coffee (long story) in which we discussed the normalcy of feelings of anger, fear, and sadness played in my mind during the conversation.
k: i don't always love you. sometimes i hate you.
me: that is ok. sometimes you are going to be angry at me and not like what i do or say. that is ok. i will always love you. thanks for telling me.
k: yeah, you are welcome. but sometimes i do not love you.
it felt very honest and an indication of the complexity of a growing self-awareness.
what i feel is remarkable is that she did not blurt it out in any fit of anger. but that she had a calm conversation with me about it afterwards. i am impressed and concerned about her ability or perceived need to hold her emotions in check and not have space for them in our family. when r is so volatile, it is clear that she has learned to not take space for her tantrums in the same way. but i admire that she has those emotions and can articulate them. she never yells them at me. her impulse control is quite remarkable in that way. but she may carry things with her...
earlier in the week we had a conversation in the car that went something like this.
k: mom, when i go home can i be bossy for a little while.
me: sure, you can tell me what to do for 10 minutes.
k: no, i want to boss r.
r: hey! why do you want to boss me? no fair!
me: well if i was the littlest in the family, i would have a hard time and feel that everybody always got to do things i did not and that everybody got to tell me what to do and i never got to tell them. i might also be jealous that i have a big brother who is so cool and gets to do some amazing things. but he always gets to do them first. it might make me feel a little grumpy.
from the backseat, i hear. "yes, that is how i feel. yes."
she did not get to boss him around, but it is clear that the dynamics are getting to her.
on the other side, r is also feeling them.
he is taking a camp that is located in the school where he went to kindergarten.
r: i don't remember the bullies or their names. but i still know that i was bullied and feel it. i don't think that will go away.
me: you might not. but you also get stronger and learn how to be in the world to protect yourself. there are a lot of bullies in life. even more as you grow up. and we want to make sure that you know how to stand up for yourself. it is important to do that.
r: yes. i think i can. but now, only my sister bullies me.
me: well that is not quite the same though i know what you mean. let's think about how she feels.
we discuss how it feels to be little and feel like one is last.
r: i understand better and it helps me think about how she feels. i can try to remember and be different with her. it makes me feel kinder.
me: there is an expression "you never know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes."
r: i did that this morning (laughing, as he had walked around in his dad's shoes.)
r: mom, i like when it is just the two of us. you talk with me and i like it. it is good to get away from grouchiness.
i hope so kiddo.
i am sitting in the school working and waiting for him to finish his next section. we had a wonderful break playing yahtzee and eating a snack. but when i took a break to stretch my legs, i had a hard time containing my anger as i walked around. i cannot stop the rage i feel when i walk into this building. in my imaginary, i can vandalize it. i cannot look at the happy kindergarten artwork, projects, and writings without remembering how poorly my child was treated here. i walked by the lockers and saw the names of his former classmates. it is not an anger at the child or children, but at the principal who allowed these things to happen. this i cannot control. by the way, my imagined acts of violence are directed at his office, not at the children's art.
my children have complex emotional lives that i hope i can adequately nurture.
i had to remind my son today.
me: r, mom works from her frontal cortex. the front of her brain runs the show. she follows reason. so when kids or others are not logical or are emotional, it is sometimes hard for me to understand. you are still moving from the back of your brain to the front. and it is my job to help you do that. but here is also what happens, when i forget or don't understand emotions, i look to you kids to help me understand because that part of my brain does not rule as much. so you have to help me out. some cultures and traditions (bar mitzvah and hindu thread ceremony) help you recognize when the front part of your brain is in charge and you are responsible for your decisions. until then, it is my job to help you learn how to make good decisions.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
wall street occupation
as you know, k thinks the most evil thing that can be imagined in the world is the republicans winning. (see my post on facebook for references).
today she was impressed by this photo of pilots. when i explained that they were workers saying that their bosses did not respect them and they wanted more respect and fair pay. she was indignant about the injustice. i told her that lots of people were protesting on wall street because they did not feel like money is being distributed well.
wait until she can read graphs and i can explain the chart to her.
i did not explain class revolution to the kids. but they have a good sense of what is fair. far more than most adults. i think if you asked children about wealth distribution, they could tell you that consolidating it in the top 1 percent makes no sense. and taxing that group so more can people can have what they need makes sense. but apparently what we know as children does not apply as adults.
ps for those of you who do not know. there is a movement going on to occupy wall street. a movement of the 99 percent that lobbyists do not represent, that do not profit from trading, that are the working people of america. you can read about it in many places. let me know if you need links. i can post.
k wants to know
when are nani and nana and grandma sue going to come again?
i will ask them.
yesterday's events:
ro ate sushi and japanese food and loved it.
k ate agedashi tofu and miso soup and loved it.
we celebrated dad's birthday at a japanese restaurant.
RO ATE SUSHI. can you believe it? i am so happy.
k liked the udon noodles too!
mom stayed up late reading about locked knees. not good -- nani's got meniscus tears i think. went to sleep with computer next to bed.
dad is happy with birthday -- ate lemon cupcake, k ate chocolate cupcake, ro made progress on triple vanilla cupcake.
today's events:
children knocked water into mom's computer. gone.
children made a suit of armor out of construction paper. awesome.
children and dad shot water bottle rockets onto the neighbor's roof. superfun.
nani has an orthopedic appt. job accomplished.
mom submitted a national grant. she was selected as the representative from the umn. first woman and first person of color. mom is a rock star without a computer.
kids played wii. mom and dad are exhausted from helping.
so we lost an 1800 computer (again). but we gained sushi. have to look at the positives...
tomorrow is another day. and we have a birthday party, a game party with BRYON. and we might go see the leaves because it is the peak of the season.
so there are many things that we are doing that are destroying the planet -- the pollution, global warming, fracking, war. but i have to believe that we are trying to leave it in better shape than how we find out it. and the simple joys in life are to be cherished.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
bacond
this is especially funny if you know r's passion for a certain food. while r spelled "arachnid," "observation," and other tricky words correctly on his spelling tests, he wrote B-A-C-O-N-D. apparently when we linked bacon and second in our practicing ("put secONd servings of baON ON your plate"), we yoked them a little too well.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Peek at K's camp
At art camp -- monsters and magical creatures
1) cover for "Black Hole Monster"
2) egg stage
3) adolescent stage
4) adult stage (hops on one foot)
5) face with open mouth (eats planets)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
first day of school
kindergarten went well. k was very excited to give her teacher an art project that she had made. she gave him the fish and then showed him all the art on the back that she had drawn for him -- a cat, dolphin, and turtle. she happily played with another girl that she knows and seemed to be quite happy with her day. they did patterns (clapping and rhythm), tag, art (she made a plane), reading, lunch, and 2 recesses and snacks.
ro read, had gym (played zombie tag), and played with friends. he was fragile afterwards. and it is clear that being "different" is starting to become an issue. we knew this would come and know we have to discuss it with him. but also we can tell his experience is off. hopeful but feeling like the combination that is r doesn't thrive in institutional settings. it is heartbreaking.
teacher is gentle and he likes her. but it might not be enough to help kiddo. we had some small heartbreaks getting home. it is hard to help him make a path for himself.
a peek into camp life
Monday, September 5, 2011
labor day weekend
FRI: k and auntie hot hot walked around campus spying on the undergraduates. they were out in full force in their gold tshirts and mini-backbacks. auntie hot hot and k observed that they only see people who are their own age, hence MH and K were invisible to them. K was very excited to report on what the undergraduates said. we also had a late lunch and spent time talking. it was lovely. mom also got to sneak out with MH to go see Harry Potter 7 Pt 2. this is the only film mom sees in a theater during the year. considering she is a media studies professor, it is a little bizarre. but more importantly, it was a bookend experience as mom has seen all the films with auntie hot hot over the years and now auntie hot hot is far away. there was pizza and wii at home with tired children as well.
SAT: kids enjoyed a late start. we all vegged and had a late breakfast. mom and dad thought through the first week of school and did schedules. the kids played some kind of rescue game and then had a great time building forts all over the house. we dragged them out of the house around 3 after some lunch to go see auntie hot hot and other friends in st paul. no state fair trip with MH but nice to hang out with her. then off to auntie karen's 40th birthday party. the kids had a great time and we came home tired. nice to visit friends on a weekend and enjoy social opportunities for kids and grownups.
SUN: cooking and cleaning day. kids played, dad shopped, mom decluttered. but the highlight of the day was going to the monarch butterfly tagging at the hyland park. last year R grew a butterfly from an egg and then released it for its annual migration. monarchs migrate to mexico every year. and there is a study at monarchwatch.org that is tagging and following them. it was a cold day for the park and we walked on and off trail through prairie plants searching for winged creatures. at first we saw many non-monarchs. and finally it warmed up as the sun came out and we caught one! we took it back for tagging and then set it free for its migration. very exciting. a quick stop at target. then reading and screen time and sleep.
MON: kids were playing that they were miners today and looking for "ding-dongs." apparently they are undergraduates and bad. (see above). mom is a part-commander of ding dongs because sometimes they listen to what i tell them to do. fairly accurate! we dragged dad to the state fair. the usual stops were made -- the miracle of birth center, all you can drink milk, butter princess sculptures, mini-donuts, giant slide, crop art, french fries, ferris wheel, fun houses, bumper cars, bumper boats, more fun houses, and then home. we added bacon on a stick this year. and mom tried fried apple pie and corn ice cream. the pie was better. mom is sticking to fresh peaches instead. came home, ate dinner, said hi to nani and nana, and prepared for school.
now summer has officially ended.
welcome to fall everyone. tomorrow is a new school year. wish us luck!
Monday, August 29, 2011
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