r and galileo

r informed me today that not everyone knows that the sun is in space and not in the sky. he also said that people were confused and did not know that the earth is also in space. but he emphasized that he knows these things. he also informed me that a long time ago people used to think that everything went around the earth but now they know that is not true.

we had OT today and a little bit of a late start. dad was tired from working during the weekend. and things have been chaotic with lots of things going on. luckily it was warm and sunny today and everyone responded happily to the sunshine. k was happy the first 10 minutes she was awake and then got extremely cranky about getting dressed. this has been getting worse. today mom was kind of irritated by it all. r stated that he did not feel well and had some snuggling time on the couch. we all did get out the door and to our destinations at reasonable times. but somehow i just spent most of the time getting odd things done.

r chose to watch word world and ate his dinner extremely quickly. if he could eat enchiladas in front of the tv every night, it would be just fine. we managed to do some puzzles, mazes, physical exercise, and a bath before bed time. k had a meltdown right before getting dressed again. not sure what is up with her. we kissed and made up right afterwards. but it is difficult. r kept trying to work on his own agenda and had little ability to stay on track. but we eventually made it.

k noted that she liked tall buildings. r does not. he says that they make him grumpy because they block the sunset. he also talked in his "stern voice" (his words) to the receptionist at the OT about their cups. i had told him not to use to many cups and that i did not want any as they are made of styrofoam and bad for the environment. he immediately went to jessica and scolded her for having cups that were bad for the soil. of course, that insight was new to him also but it did not prevent him from scolding. we'll have to work on that!

monday monday

well r had a nightmare about a scary pirate from a magic tree house book they are reading at school. but he recovered quickly and was willing to talk about it at school and at home a little so it was a productive engagement. it also got him out of bed quickly this morning -- every cloud has its silver lining. he quickly got dressed with a little help and headed downstairs with dad. k had a much harder time with the clothes. apparently nothing felt right and a lot of time was spent rolling around on the bed not putting on clothes and not wanting help to put on the clothes. she also could not get her shoes and socks to be comfortable and then had little time for breakfast as dad had an appt at 9 and was doing drop off. k had a fit when she realized i was not coming with her. so despite the beginning of a good mood, she quickly turned to thrashing and lashing out in the car. meanwhile, r constructed an elaborate narrative about his new tool "snabber grabber." the excitement of the tool, of course, made it difficult to put on shoes and a coat. since we had a 9am OT appt, this made me irritated. we did get out of the house with me losing my cool only for a minute. OT was fine. megan and i talked about various aspects of the sensory and emotional/behavior issues. we are still trying to get him prepped for kindergarten. he had a challenging session and was clearly low energy when he emerged. the lack of breakfast might also have contributed to this lull. we managed to reenergize the robot before his arrival at school.

they both had good days. r wet his pants again during block play. it is hard to stop playing some time. we changed his clothes without shaming him. i was really happy to see the kids today and could use humor and creativity to deflect their whining, dawdling, and complaining. it worked fairly well. k was still crabby and only ate in the car. r was absorbed in something and had trouble eating. he did earn six minutes of volcano watching on the computer but we could not work on our gross motor homework. and it was clearly showing. he was moody towards the end. his burst of energy after dinner ended in a crash. i could see it coming but could not quite catch it (he was with dad). k also seemed tired and irritable. in the end, i opted for big deep pressure hugs and silly poems to help at the end. he said that silly poems helped him feel better. i thought it was terrific that he could name it. k had hiccups when i got to her for her reading. since she had picked two thomas books that were really tedious, i just made up a narrative about toddlers and preschoolers. she seemed to enjoy that much better than the actual writing. i also held her and sang to her for awhile as she seemed kind of in need of reassurance. my girl is not eating much at home and i worry about that. the only time she has eaten well was saturday night when we got pizza. i am going to have to think about some meals that excite her as well.

both are asleep and we have school decisions to make!

motion and senses

the more i read books like the "out of synch child" and about difficulty with executive function, the more i see descriptions that fit r. however, this has yet to be a comfort in that they do not necessarily help us deal with difficult moments.

r had a few difficult moments recovering from disappointments today. my approach is to go to the 3 step approach:
1) yes i can stop crying. yes i can. yes i can.
2) we can find a solution.
3) let's move our bodies or have some sensory experience

i think his inability to recover is perhaps about inhibition and/or sensory issues. if we can help him know that he can do it. and help him deal with the emotions through his sensory input, perhaps things will change. today after 1 disaster, he finally recovered and then we got him jumping and he while he said he was still sad, he was able to smile and enjoy himself.

another time today when he was getting squirrelly, i got him to take a shower with me. both of these motor/sensory things seemed to help him. i can see how the three things can help. but getting there is not easy.

k had a long long nap today and woke up very sensitive and irritable. she perked up at the grocery store and ate ok. she has said that her knee and feet have been hurting today. they still seem to be bothering her as she woke up twice already and complained again. i am rubbing them now. she still seems to be partly ill as her breath smells off.

r says his tummy hurts on and off. but i think it is hunger and eating more than the usual amount. r ate rice with butter and salt at dinner! i had to feed it to him. but it is a nice advancement.

saturdays

i am not sure why but saturdays seem to be disasters. the kids really have a hard time following rules and listening saturday mornings. things calm down in the afternoon while dad is at work. k takes a nap and r reads and plays. but afterwards, we need motion and something to do but the kids are tired too. so it never seems to work. the hardest for me is that i do not recover from their behaviors on saturday mornings very quickly and seem to have a grudge part of the day.

today was not so bad in the latter half of the day. the kids played well together or at least were cooperative. k had the world's shortest nap -- 20 minutes/ we went to the library and got pizza. both ate well and we read books which is pleasant. but not a stellar day and it makes me disappointed because i want our weekends together to be fun and memorable, not just another two days to get through.

abundance of fluids

i was glad to be home last night. we had 2 sick children. one vomiting mucous, the other the entire contents of his stomach. both required comforting and attention. luckily masee was here for the hours that i was at work. she provided very necessary support. thanks masee.

by 11 pm most everyone settled in for the night: dad and r in the big bed, mom and k in r's bed. it was peaceful after we hit the pillows. k made it to school today but r was excluded for his vomiting. so mom got some time with him. of course, very little work was done today, let alone this week. but such is the way of sick children.

both kids had an ok evening. r fell asleep in the car on the way to pick up dad and k. this threw his schedule off. it was a quiet dinner, some dvds, and bath time. k coughed a great deal in the beginning. she seems better and settled into her sleep in the big bed. i am just finishing up some email and trying to figure out what to do about responding to drastic changes at our daycare. the budget cuts are resulting in shorter hours at the center (closing at 5:15). parents are very upset and are trying to figure out what to do. we love the center and feel lucky to have been there for the last 4 years. the teachers are amazing, really terrific. the center is a very close and supportive community. but it has been rough there the last few months with a new director whose style is top-down, extreme budget cuts, and new policies. i am worried about the center and how we will be able to get any work done with new hours.

report from minneapolis

k did not eat again.

today, r eventually demonstrated some great big brother behavior toward k, both at the table and at the back stairs when she was afraid - i had told her to wait with him at the top of the stairs while i went to put the junk in the car - it had snowed and i couldn't carry her. when i came back they were at the bottom of the stairs beaming that they had made it down and that r had helped by holding her hand while he held onto the railing. completely unprompted by me - shows great empathy and problem solving, don't you think?

k was sent home from daycare today w/ a fever of 101.5.

good thing i go home tomorrow!

picnic teach wonders

so r will eat things for rewards. today at the picnic teacher, in order to get the pieces for the game don't break the ice, he ate the following: plain rice, pad thai (we call it star wars noodles), dried blueberry, fruit leather, dad's frittata, and a small mushroom turnover (minus the red pepper). all new foods. for dinner, in order to receive potato chips, he had broccoli and cheese soup. funny guy. he said the only thing he liked was the fruit leather and dad's frittata. he said he might eat rice with butter, salt, and pepper. i think we will try the others again as well.

yesterday r invented an animal called a zath: 1/4 part lion, bear, turtle, and cheetah (it goes medium fast). eats honey, plants, and soy sausage. it has treads and is part machine. it also has 3 long necks, 11 heads, 20 eyes, 40 teeth, 22 long ears. it is invisible. which is why you might not have seen one around. this one's name is duncan.

k insisted that she wear underwear when she came home. so she took off her diaper. we told her she had to use the potty to wear underwear. so she did! she made urine in her potty and then wanted to wear her thomas the tank engine underwear to bed. boy was she unhappy that she could not. wearing it tomorrow was not satisfactory and there was much crying which resulted in coughing and near gagging. this served as a warning and miss monkey stopped crying. at least one of them can stop and not vomit when crying. that ability to rein herself in a little at a time is helpful. he does not always have it.

r was sad this morning because he wanted to put his shoes on first and since he was being distracted, k did it first. he later told me he never gets to be first, especially at school. we had a talk about being first and how you can't be first at everything. these are important and hard lessons to learn. i want him to be happy with his achievements and keep trying, but not lose his self esteem when he is not first. this is a hard lesson to teach and learn. one has to enjoy the ride. not be first. easy to say, not always easy to model. we try to make it visible. but it is not simple.

k is asleep. poor monkey was so tired and could not hold it together tonight. tomorrow i am off to boston. only one class this week. and then an evening discussion at the museum. mostly this week i want to settle on a school. i want to start sketching out our plans for the next 15 months slowly. i want to see how my brother is doing. and i want to make sure that masee and tom are doing ok with kitty. and then we get to explain to the kids about kitty being sick.

my friend kathleen told me that her younger brother's wife died with a stroke at age 37. i still find these stories heart wrenching. he is now raising a 7 and 9 year old. humans are resilient. we pick ourselves up and go on hour by hour. but that just seems devastating. i have said it before and i will say it again, i feel the fragility of life more and more. i feel its beauty and its transience. i value less the accolades and rewards of academia/careers which seem random, harsh, and judgmental. i am trying to remember to value the relationships. to not let the grit get in my teeth. to stop and remember who is here now. i am afraid that i am not good at it frequently. i have good intentions. i do best with those that are nearby -- r and k, and sometimes dad, seema, and tom. but the more distant physically, the harder it gets. i wish sue were closer. i wish my parents and rakesh were closer. i wish i could remember to be more gentle and reach out more frequently. i wish that i could somehow live more kindly and thoughtfully in regard to others. i hope that i may teach my children to do the same.

promises come true some times

because dad is an only child and because my siblings and i are quite close but many years apart (just about 6 each), neither of us experienced the companionship of early childhood sibling play. others have said that it is very pleasant, complicated, and helpful when it happens. well today we hit a turn. we saw consistent play between r and k for an extended period of time.

this last week of travel has been easier. i was gone only wed and thurs but was taking non-direct flights and did have to sprint through an airport for a connection. still the teaching was good and i was glad to be gone only one night. i am pretty much a home body. while i enjoy being away for the day, in the evening i like to be home with my family. i think the wed-thurs commute will suit me the best. things seemed to be a little more gentle when i returned though the kids do seem to be off a bit on fri (r) and sat (k).

dad and i went to a symposium on early childhood and autism on friday and then to check out our last minneapolis school -- pratt. the symposium was somewhat disappointing. i think in part i am the wrong audience member. my expectations are always much more grand and expansive than the actual presentations. we did not hear the first presentation as we were getting the kids to school. but still, the others were not that inspiring or provocative. still, i always feel that i learn a little as i am at the beginning of the learning on this topic.

pratt is a small neighborhood school in minneapolis. the feeling is intimate and warm. however, we picked an off day to go as the kids seemed very hyped up on valentine's day and not very engaged academically. i have noticed that our afternoon visits are usually less positive than our morning ones when more academic work is going on. still, here the kids seemed to be all over the place. one of the teachers also seemed quite overwhelmed and tired. not a good sign. it was an incredibly diverse school, but there project integration was quite lacking. we like the idea of projects and learning things by linking ideas and disciplines. but drawing a snowman (albeit a symmetrical one) and then having a cut out of antarctica next to it seems a little too loose and fast to call integrated learning in my book. but i, more than dad, could see the advantages of a small school where r could feel confident, connected, and safe. but i do not think that this is it. i prefer northrup to pratt i believe. but dad and i have run out of minneapolis schools. we have looked at least 10 in the area and 4 in st paul. we are fairly confident of our st paul decisions. but minneapolis, not so sure...

friday night we called masee to wish her a happy bday. we did not hear from her until the next morning when she called to say that sparky/rarky her cat is very ill. we all love little rarky very much. he is a sweet, affectionate, and quirky cat who is masee's companion. he came home from the hospital on saturday but the prognosis is not good. masee and tom are trying to make him feel as comfortable and help him recover as much as possible. we postponed our celebration of masee's bday until things are a little better.

k woke up once friday night, but i got her to go back to her bed. she stayed there until about 3 or 4am. of course, i could not sleep until she came and joined me. funny how that works...

k was a stinker sat. morning. she usually has a tough time regulating then for some reason. and i was very irritated with her. we took the kids to an event by the women's prison book project -- a wonderful organization that gets books to women in prison. the annual pancake breakfast is something that i have been going to for over a decade and it was nice to take the kids. we got there and finally got the kids eating. r was decidedly excited to see uncle mark and both had an engaging conversation about space.

we made it to music class and the kids were well behaved for part of it and then quite inconsiderate for another part. this definitely irritated mom who had a long talk in the car on the way home about proper behavior. both kids were a little more subdued after that. k took a long nap and r had some nice quiet reading time. of course, as usual on the weekend, if we do not get a change of scenery or some gross motor activity, things quickly go down hill. at least we have figured out that gross motor stuff is necessary for a good evening! so the kids ran around outside while we got ready to visit aunty hot hot and mr. springfield. aunty hot hot was gracious (or silly) enough to let us come visit right before dinner on valentine's day. but we had not seen her in a long time and it was a welcome treat for all. dad "got" to go grocery shopping by himself for an hour, while i hung out with the adults and kids. everyone headed home happy and there was much scurrying to play the cat in the hat game and get to bed.

k woke up like clockwork at 8 am on sunday and we had a pleasant time snuggling. everyone came into the bed soon after. eventually we all made it downstairs. dad and k were the vanguard and started breakfast. r and i came second. both kids picked out party clothes to wear to their friend zora's bday party. as dad and i prepped breakfast, the kids started playing together. they got their umbrellas out and started marching around blowing their whistles. then they played pot lids and marching band. then they sat in their open umbrellas and played canoe. each variation was done in tandem with k shadowing r like a puppy. they had a great time. he got to be a leader and she got to participate. there was a great deal of excitement about singing, marching, pretending, and being together. it was quite sweet. then both ate breakfast. r devoured his french toast sticks while k concentrated on her sausages. k also ate some of daddy's frittata as she likes our cooking. afterwards, they both disappeared upstairs while mom and dad ate their eggs. they did not say a word but went up to r's room to be sneaky. this usually involves hiding all kinds of things in the nooks and crannies of his bed. they spend two hours on and off playing together independently.

when we went upstairs, the door opened up and there was much emphatic yelling: "no mom! you can't come in." it was quite heart wrenching and sweet. it is nice to see them preferring each other, rather than a parent, even if momentarily. siblings know each other longer than parents know children during a lifetime. and in that regard, i want my children to be able to enjoy each other, build bonds, and be there for each other as they get older. we had our children late in life. and hopefully we will be here for a long time. but regardless, if they can learn to play together now, perhaps they will continue to participate in each others lives in a meaningful way. i value my sibling certainly. and today we saw sustained play that bodes well for the future.

we all made it to zora's bday party on the late side (letting the children play together for 2 hours has its consequences). but it was a nice experience. k and r enjoyed the toys. r was interested in our friends' child gil who was a little more shy. there was some hand painting, pizza eating, and general enjoyment. we headed home with tired children. dad and i did some sharing of our "expertise" telling the parents of a preschooler and newborn that it only gets more exponentially complex with two kids. we did our part in trying to warn them of the joys and tribulations of juggling two kids. they seemed aware and a little wary. they were quite nice. the guy was also the son of an astronomer that i had read a long time ago and remembered. funny.

by the way, at the party, i was talking to gil's mom and she mentioned that they are letting gil dress himself now. and it takes him 40 minutes. he is just a little over 4. i realized that when r turned 4, it was taking us that long as well. now we are down to about 15-20 minutes. not so bad. sometimes we do not notice or remark upon the progress. this is important to do. r is improving and making progress.

we headed home for nap. k slept while r and i read a star wars book. r commented frequently that rocky mama knows a lot about star wars. and i know some too. dad fixed the dishwasher. we managed to have a snack and read a little when k woke up with a fever. so dad and i adjusted our plans. r got some gross motor activity with 2 yoga dvds. k snuggled, dad went for thai take out. we all ate something. r and k did some art work. r did some writing. k pushed the laundry basket around (apparently in a demonstration of better health). then it was bath time. followed by books and bed. k has already transitioned to the big bed. we had no tantrums and whining all day sunday. and dad was in a spectacularly jokey mood at bath. the kids had great fun. things ended on a good note for the weekend.

this week, rarky will be in our thoughts. and we hope that things go smoothly and positively for rocky mama and nana and nani in las vegas. we shall wait to hear news about doctor appts, jobs, and apts.

this week i am traveling tue-thurs. it might be rough week as masee needs to take care of her kitty and i am gone an extra night. we need to finalize our school choices. i need to submit my course recertifications. i need to finish this anthology and then we need to work on career planning some more. yikes! busy times...

i am curious about the sad city

welcome home... last night r wet his bed, and even worse, his green blanket. nothing makes him as inconsolable as not having his green blanked in the middle of the night (well except an inadequate amount of butter or cinnamon at breakfast time). it took forever to calm him down. and his sister woke up and was hysterical too. ah home sweet home -- screaming unhappy children for an hour in the middle of the night. the morning brought lots of snuggling and recovery...

well it is not helpful when the daycare has a staff development day in feb. it is not that we do not want the staff to develop. we love the teachers there and support their careers and learning. of course, this is not altruistic of me, we benefit from a well educated staff. but when the day comes in early february with mom traveling and our lives almost settling into a rhythm, it is disruptive. since dad and i had mostly forgotten about the center being closed, there was juggling today. i had scheduled two meetings. during the first, the children gleefully played on my office floor and interrupted my patient advisee many times. for the other meeting (a tour of the art exhibit on which i am moderating a discussion), i left them there with dad who played cars and read with them. apparently, mom's office is kind of a library. r and dad found a book that r loved immediately -- haroun and the sea of stories. for those of you who do not know the book, it was written by salman rushdie during his fatwa. it is both a lovely children's story and an allegory for his experience. r was so smitten by the language, the narrative, and characters. his interest was piqued from the first page with the idea of the sad city.

i took k and r to acrobat teacher. k hung out in the waiting room with me, playing with water. we let dad work at least part of the day. the rest went fairly smoothly. we picked up some take-home thai. k fell asleep within 2 minutes of being strapped in the car. r ate black bean/ginger tofu and tofu satay. i am happy to say that he thought it was spicy but tasty. if we get something like pad thai, i think he might be persuaded to eat more of this food. he would probably like the egg, tofu, and the noodles. dad read haroun and the sea of stories to him while we ate. k slept. it was really fun to see his excitement and his intent listening.

k woke up and need some snuggling to get back into sorts. i had promised r that he could watch sid the science kid. and of course, k woke up for exactly that. then they watched an old episode of sesame street which was nice. he loves the song ladybug picnic. k ate like a vacuum -- 2 bean burgers and 1 entire broccoli and cheese lean pocket. not to mention she drank 3 cups of OJ. r ate a bit as well.

there was bath time with dad while mom scrubbed the bathroom. stories and stickers for cooperation. and then finally sleeping children. well one has already gone to the big bed...

watch out for lava

r and i played a fun game today on the way to acrobat class. we jumped over lava flows to get there. it was definitely a strenuous exercise involving a lot of leg work. for those of you who did not notice, we live on a planet full of volcanoes and snow. so there are constant eruptions and avalanches. the challenge to survival is to leap over dangerous spots. we had a harrying trip off the parking ramp mountain in our snowmobile as the avalanche came down behind us. luckily we made it. life in the subzero temperatures of the midwest requires such imaginative play.

r's brain, he informs us, is very full and busy. i can believe it. i have lots of evidence to support this statement. as a parent, i am not sure how to best manage this. i know this is my usual lament. i just find it baffling that i can tell him that he has 10 minutes to eat his breakfast and 10 minutes to play his trains after the timer is done before we have to go to school. he cannot stop touching the trains. he does not eat, all of the time passes, and then he says he is hungry. while he understands the consequence, he is unable to inhibit himself to stop even though the outcome will be one he does not like. AND he will do the same thing again tomorrow despite the experience today. the disciplinarian in me wants him to feel the full effect of the consequence so that he is hungry and can try to understand and learn. what i have learned is that he does not learn and even though i am not trying to shame him, he feels bad and still cannot help it. of course, he did not get more time to eat at home. my compromise was that i gave him and his sister a small snack in the car as we went to school. it was very limited and not the preferred food from breakfast. he also did not get any thing else to drink as i reminded both kids "i am not a cow or a water fountain, and the car is not a kitchen."

k was snuggly last night with a few kicks thrown in. r climbed down and joined us in bed this morning (getting up early on his own lately -- we are doing something right!). he and k snuggled and got along momentarily. it was nice. he was also the first one of us dressed and downstairs!

dad visited another mediocre minneapolis school today. i think we have one more minneapolis school and one st paul school to look at. none of the minneapolis schools that we like start at a time r can get up in the morning. so this is definitely a challenge. we might have to half-day kindergarten him and do some homeschooling as support. any volunteers for helping out?

I Just Don't Get It!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCKY MAMA
the kids were a-buzz today with excitement about rocky mama's birthday. k colored a picture in his honor. we will send it soon. The highlight of the day was listening to the kids talking at great length and with amazing enthusiasm with their Mama.

Some of the highlights from r's monologue:
R: hi rocky mama. i have some questions. how does electricity work? You can't see it. How do Diwali lights work on trees because they don't use electricity. There are no wires. I just don't get it. How do paleontologists know what dinosaurs look like from the skeleton? How do they know which bones go where? What if they put the wrong bones together and they fit? How will they know? I am serious. I just don't get it.

It was amazing if i do say so myself. he did not regurgitate scientific facts but really was processing and thinking through things to understand how they work. dad and i were chuckling at r's vehemency and intensity. we were also very proud of how smart he is.

k was happy to tell rocky mama about her day and ask him how we was doing. she narrated her diaper change and sang him several songs. all in all, i can't imagine that rocky mama was less than pleased.

dad is good at joke-ification

apparently r likes his dad's sense of humor as he made the comment above this afternoon.

the kids were sad to see grandma sue go today. they have enjoyed their time with her. and we are pretty sure that james is just not as much fun as r and k.

since i've been back, we have been trying to get back to our routine and trying to keep things on an even keel. it has been generally good. i got back from boston without a hitch on thursday and the kids discovered me in the middle of the night when they woke up. r was having a hard time as he had wet his bed and could not rein in his response. k was pleased to see me. in the morning, the pastries from au bon pain were greatly appreciated. our morning was a bit of a wash as the mechanics forgot to hook up the heater in dad's car. so we made a trip there and came back empty handed. we were then late to OT but there was nothing to be done. R had a good OT and I talked with megan about the tantrums and we came up a few strategies to improve our morning routines hopefully. the rest of the day went fairly well except r refused to get up when i came to pick him and wet himself again. this caused delays and we got home much later than we had wanted to. in the end, the evening was fine, but the kids were tired and it was not as relaxing as i had hoped for them.

saturday morning was leisurely for the most part. until it was actually time to head to music class. both kids had difficulty getting out the door. r enjoyed music but was more subdued than usual. k was just having a hard time. after a big lunch, k took a nap and r hung out with grandma sue reading books and playing trains. the evening involved a lovely potluck with Asian American Studies. we are lucky to have such a nice community.

sunday morning involved a jaunt to a restaurant for breakfast for grandma sue's last day. r could not sit still. but they both ate well. it was a fun time and we had a little bit of time before going to the airport. so we made a stop at the minneapolis institute of arts. the kids love the play room. we were the first ones in the museum. once they came home from saying good-bye to grandma sue, the kids were a little hungry and tired. so we had a snack and some family members went upstairs for a nap and others went out to purchase some more anti-ice products for our sidewalks. upon return from our various locations, we converged downstairs for some partially cooperative puzzle time. k also sang happy birthday to rocky mama. after puzzle time, we had vegetable soup and grilled cheese sandwiches while watching WALL-E. R was still scared at certain parts but he was able to make it through the "difficult" parts. after dvd time was over, it was bath and bed time. bath time went well. eventually k and r fell asleep. while there were some moments that veered close to meltdowns for r, it was k who had a more difficult time today. luckily, she is easier to calm down...

both are asleep and our fingers are crossed. we thank grandma sue for coming out to keep the family happy and calm. they had a terrific time and are excited about her return (which we hope is soon).