because dad is an only child and because my siblings and i are quite close but many years apart (just about 6 each), neither of us experienced the companionship of early childhood sibling play. others have said that it is very pleasant, complicated, and helpful when it happens. well today we hit a turn. we saw consistent play between r and k for an extended period of time.
this last week of travel has been easier. i was gone only wed and thurs but was taking non-direct flights and did have to sprint through an airport for a connection. still the teaching was good and i was glad to be gone only one night. i am pretty much a home body. while i enjoy being away for the day, in the evening i like to be home with my family. i think the wed-thurs commute will suit me the best. things seemed to be a little more gentle when i returned though the kids do seem to be off a bit on fri (r) and sat (k).
dad and i went to a symposium on early childhood and autism on friday and then to check out our last minneapolis school -- pratt. the symposium was somewhat disappointing. i think in part i am the wrong audience member. my expectations are always much more grand and expansive than the actual presentations. we did not hear the first presentation as we were getting the kids to school. but still, the others were not that inspiring or provocative. still, i always feel that i learn a little as i am at the beginning of the learning on this topic.
pratt is a small neighborhood school in minneapolis. the feeling is intimate and warm. however, we picked an off day to go as the kids seemed very hyped up on valentine's day and not very engaged academically. i have noticed that our afternoon visits are usually less positive than our morning ones when more academic work is going on. still, here the kids seemed to be all over the place. one of the teachers also seemed quite overwhelmed and tired. not a good sign. it was an incredibly diverse school, but there project integration was quite lacking. we like the idea of projects and learning things by linking ideas and disciplines. but drawing a snowman (albeit a symmetrical one) and then having a cut out of antarctica next to it seems a little too loose and fast to call integrated learning in my book. but i, more than dad, could see the advantages of a small school where r could feel confident, connected, and safe. but i do not think that this is it. i prefer northrup to pratt i believe. but dad and i have run out of minneapolis schools. we have looked at least 10 in the area and 4 in st paul. we are fairly confident of our st paul decisions. but minneapolis, not so sure...
friday night we called masee to wish her a happy bday. we did not hear from her until the next morning when she called to say that sparky/rarky her cat is very ill. we all love little rarky very much. he is a sweet, affectionate, and quirky cat who is masee's companion. he came home from the hospital on saturday but the prognosis is not good. masee and tom are trying to make him feel as comfortable and help him recover as much as possible. we postponed our celebration of masee's bday until things are a little better.
k woke up once friday night, but i got her to go back to her bed. she stayed there until about 3 or 4am. of course, i could not sleep until she came and joined me. funny how that works...
k was a stinker sat. morning. she usually has a tough time regulating then for some reason. and i was very irritated with her. we took the kids to an event by the women's prison book project -- a wonderful organization that gets books to women in prison. the annual pancake breakfast is something that i have been going to for over a decade and it was nice to take the kids. we got there and finally got the kids eating. r was decidedly excited to see uncle mark and both had an engaging conversation about space.
we made it to music class and the kids were well behaved for part of it and then quite inconsiderate for another part. this definitely irritated mom who had a long talk in the car on the way home about proper behavior. both kids were a little more subdued after that. k took a long nap and r had some nice quiet reading time. of course, as usual on the weekend, if we do not get a change of scenery or some gross motor activity, things quickly go down hill. at least we have figured out that gross motor stuff is necessary for a good evening! so the kids ran around outside while we got ready to visit aunty hot hot and mr. springfield. aunty hot hot was gracious (or silly) enough to let us come visit right before dinner on valentine's day. but we had not seen her in a long time and it was a welcome treat for all. dad "got" to go grocery shopping by himself for an hour, while i hung out with the adults and kids. everyone headed home happy and there was much scurrying to play the cat in the hat game and get to bed.
k woke up like clockwork at 8 am on sunday and we had a pleasant time snuggling. everyone came into the bed soon after. eventually we all made it downstairs. dad and k were the vanguard and started breakfast. r and i came second. both kids picked out party clothes to wear to their friend zora's bday party. as dad and i prepped breakfast, the kids started playing together. they got their umbrellas out and started marching around blowing their whistles. then they played pot lids and marching band. then they sat in their open umbrellas and played canoe. each variation was done in tandem with k shadowing r like a puppy. they had a great time. he got to be a leader and she got to participate. there was a great deal of excitement about singing, marching, pretending, and being together. it was quite sweet. then both ate breakfast. r devoured his french toast sticks while k concentrated on her sausages. k also ate some of daddy's frittata as she likes our cooking. afterwards, they both disappeared upstairs while mom and dad ate their eggs. they did not say a word but went up to r's room to be sneaky. this usually involves hiding all kinds of things in the nooks and crannies of his bed. they spend two hours on and off playing together independently.
when we went upstairs, the door opened up and there was much emphatic yelling: "no mom! you can't come in." it was quite heart wrenching and sweet. it is nice to see them preferring each other, rather than a parent, even if momentarily. siblings know each other longer than parents know children during a lifetime. and in that regard, i want my children to be able to enjoy each other, build bonds, and be there for each other as they get older. we had our children late in life. and hopefully we will be here for a long time. but regardless, if they can learn to play together now, perhaps they will continue to participate in each others lives in a meaningful way. i value my sibling certainly. and today we saw sustained play that bodes well for the future.
we all made it to zora's bday party on the late side (letting the children play together for 2 hours has its consequences). but it was a nice experience. k and r enjoyed the toys. r was interested in our friends' child gil who was a little more shy. there was some hand painting, pizza eating, and general enjoyment. we headed home with tired children. dad and i did some sharing of our "expertise" telling the parents of a preschooler and newborn that it only gets more exponentially complex with two kids. we did our part in trying to warn them of the joys and tribulations of juggling two kids. they seemed aware and a little wary. they were quite nice. the guy was also the son of an astronomer that i had read a long time ago and remembered. funny.
by the way, at the party, i was talking to gil's mom and she mentioned that they are letting gil dress himself now. and it takes him 40 minutes. he is just a little over 4. i realized that when r turned 4, it was taking us that long as well. now we are down to about 15-20 minutes. not so bad. sometimes we do not notice or remark upon the progress. this is important to do. r is improving and making progress.
we headed home for nap. k slept while r and i read a star wars book. r commented frequently that rocky mama knows a lot about star wars. and i know some too. dad fixed the dishwasher. we managed to have a snack and read a little when k woke up with a fever. so dad and i adjusted our plans. r got some gross motor activity with 2 yoga dvds. k snuggled, dad went for thai take out. we all ate something. r and k did some art work. r did some writing. k pushed the laundry basket around (apparently in a demonstration of better health). then it was bath time. followed by books and bed. k has already transitioned to the big bed. we had no tantrums and whining all day sunday. and dad was in a spectacularly jokey mood at bath. the kids had great fun. things ended on a good note for the weekend.
this week, rarky will be in our thoughts. and we hope that things go smoothly and positively for rocky mama and nana and nani in las vegas. we shall wait to hear news about doctor appts, jobs, and apts.
this week i am traveling tue-thurs. it might be rough week as masee needs to take care of her kitty and i am gone an extra night. we need to finalize our school choices. i need to submit my course recertifications. i need to finish this anthology and then we need to work on career planning some more. yikes! busy times...
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