r: mom. i think i have splinters in my mouth. they are pointy and sharp.
me: really? can i feel? where are they? and why do you have splinters in your mouth?
r: well i have been chewing on my pencils.
me, calmly: well hon, try not to do that. we gave you the pencil tops so you can chew on something safe.
me, feeling around his cheek: i don't feel anything. where?
dad, yelling from the next room: DON'T CHEW ON PENCILS
r: i feel them. right here.
me: oh. honey, that is a new tooth. you are getting a molar! there aren't any splinters.
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