the euphoria and joy of tuesday still lingers but the hard truth of our current mess has seeped back in. the closest analogy for it seems to be giving birth. the magic of that day is like nothing else, but then the hard work and joy of parenting comes afterwards. barack obama has a difficult and impossible road ahead. there is no way to fix everything. but at the same time, i hope that what he inspires in us will make us get up and make the change we want. it is a difficult world and no one person can change it -- it will take all of us.
having said that, there are many intangibles that have already occurred. i love the way ruskin gets upset when obama is not recognized for being a multiracial man. while obama is of course black and african american, i also appreciate the ways in which ruskin is naming a different space for obama and, i imagine, our children. to make their identity not about percentages or fractions (half white, etc.) tries to work against certain singular logics.
anyway, to the cut to the chase. things have returned back to their normal pace. the kiddos have stopped being on daylight savings time. k has not been napping well at daycare (only a half hour yesterday). and is kind of crabby at night. she was asleep by 8:15 last night. when she gets a good night sleep, she wakes up so happy. it is one of my favorite parts of the day. she opens her eyes and seems to recognize that it is a new day. she is eager to rise and explore the world. she is not usually resistant to the transition from sleep to being awake and eagerly leaps out of bed full of smiles and vigor. of course, this is in sharp contrast to my other kiddo who is almost always exhausted and sluggish in the morning. since he refuses to sleep early, it is a tough transition.
the other day, on our way home from masee's house, r was talking about something and then somehow he got on the topic of girls and boys. he said that sometimes he would like to be a girl. and some times he likes being a boy. but that he wishes he was a girl sometimes. i told him he could be a girl. i asked him why. and he said i just do. i asked him what is the difference between a girl and boy. he said that they were the same. it was a funny conversation. i am not sure what his concept of gender is. but it is already fixed and binary. as an educator and mom, that makes me sad. this is exactly what i talk to my students about and i can see it happening in my children. i do not want him to long to be a girl (though i do not think he is thinking about it that much), i would like him to find gender fluid and not fixed. i would like him to know he can be what he wants and it can change. but not many of us think that way...
he also told me he wants to be president when he grows up. but when i asked him why, the answer had its own preschool spin. of course, the preschoolers have been talking about the elections too. they read a book about being president and living in the white house. i guess this part was the most salient. r's answer to why he wanted to be president is that he wants to have a bowling alley in his home, have his own baker and sewer. *except for the bowling alley part, i think these things are called parents.*
k and r have still not figured out to play well together. i think part of it is, beside k's toddlerness, is that r needs playmates who are more socially aware. he does better with more understanding and compensating kids. we had a conference with his teacher at the center the other day. she's terrific. her observations are so astute, so skilled, and so (in my perspective) similar to our own. she understands r. she is an experienced and patient teacher. we had a good conversation and concur. we talked about the goal of helping r with his social skills and awareness. we both believe that those are the highest priorities for KG readiness. she says that r is doing better with transitions and does best with high structure. his stamina is low and the stimulus is overwhelming. we know much of this and are trying to think about these things as we get him ready for school and search for a school that will accommodate him. we think he is a bright, generous, curious, playful, and inquisitive child, but he has some areas that continue to need attention.
k luckily is like a wildflower. her strength and determination are still there. i see less of her earlier disruptive behaviors. she is still working out her autonomy stuff, but she is also able to hit less and use her words more to explain. she is quite a chatterbox. she also is a cheery child. not mellow like r was. but happy and engaged. she is generous. one of her favorite ways of playing is pretending with animals. r did not do this. but she pretends to change them and feed them. it is very fun.
r is all excited about space again as that it is what he is talking about in school. they are discussing the human body next. his latest thing is also to be "sneaky." it is rather fun to watch his notion of transgression. he likes to hide things and then tell us we do not know that he put something in the cabinet. a true desai when it comes to secrets. (both seema and i have a hard time with secrets). he also got in trouble with his dad for "Experiementing" with soap the other day. dad was concerned about the waste. i had to remind dad that when he was young and curious (as opposed to old and tired), he also liked to experiment and one time decided to test whether or not diamonds cut glass. well the only diamond he knew about was his mom's ring. let's just say that this was not popular. luckily r has a strong sense of curiosity that we mostly encourage. so hopefully things will continue.
i guess i should mention that we got our first snow today. k is highly suspicious. r is excited. all of their snow and winter gear is almost ready. mom has been purchasing snow pants and mittens, hats and boots. we are almost there. a few more items to go. as r said this morning, this is the beginning of winter.
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